So my mom has been in the hospital in unbelievable pain all week and I'm like. What if I got people to read her smutty books. And she gets out of the hospital to hit like thousands of reads on Kindle
The problems with this plan;
She writes mostly m/f (well, m/m/m/m/f occasionally and everyone I know is a homosexual of some type)
I don't know how to market romance/smut
I don't know how to say "will you read my mom's porn" without it being weird
Basically if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them
"I don't know how to say "will you read my mom's porn" without it being weird"
So my mom has been in the hospital in unbelievable pain all week and I'm like. What if I got people to read her smutty books. And she gets out of the hospital to hit like thousands of reads on Kindle
The problems with this plan;
She writes mostly m/f (well, m/m/m/m/f occasionally and everyone I know is a homosexual of some type)
I don't know how to market romance/smut
I don't know how to say "will you read my mom's porn" without it being weird
Basically if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them
ok here are the books (i like the pen name lol)
points for buying/reading totally wrecked
bonus bonus points for drawing fanart and tagging her tiktok
she doesn't want this kind of promo but I'm doing this anyway bc she's my mom and she was at a 9 on the pain scale all week this week
i don't really know anything about romance (not my genre) but her other stuff are fun reads
WELL GOOD NEWS SIS I HAVE NO SHAME
READ MY MUMS PORN BOOK CAUSE SHE'S IN HOSPITAL
Anonymous asked:
is jake gyllenhaal gay??
adamdrivers answered:
@dailynarnia come collect your anon
I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…
The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.
Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”
Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”
Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”
My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”
Zombie : “AARRRGH”
Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”
Zombie : “TEETH!!”
This happened to me.
Scary prison dude: HELLO
Me: Nice to meet you!
Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?
Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?
Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing-
Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad
Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
I could hear them giggling.
Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!
Me: thanks dad
A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad
I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.
The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way
IM CRYING
My friends and I were in a really dark part of a haunted house and couldn’t find the exit, so the guy who had just jumped out at us had to say “to your left” in his same scary voice he’d used to scream and we were like “thanks!”
And then after a few moments of patting blindly at the wall he says again in the same ominous voice “your other left”
World Heritage Post
The truth everyone knows but noone will admit:
Trent and Sassy would get along GREAT
Trent says something clever and scathing about Rupert and Sassy grabs him like o you are sitting with ME :)))
Trent: so... you and Ted.
Sassy: oh yeah :) he was fantastic. Do you want to hear about it?
Trent:.... *downs the rest of his drink* Yes.
i just think theodore lasso should have kissed one man — any man — on the lips before leaving for kansas. beard, roy, higgins, trent, nate, kenneth, rupert, one of the pub trio. doesn't matter who. the dude was robbed of his bisexual slut era the day before pride month. i wish the writers would've given him his gay short-shorts and a fruity little drink and would've let him sing some shania karaoke which then would've let him get lucky
hello dear followers would you mind coming out of the woodwork today to give me advice on packing for boarding school
and boarding school stuff/intense school stuff in general. please please please the limit on homework is like 5hrs per night please plaes
The worst thing filmmaker’s ever did was decide that because it’s called “Dracula” it must be because it’s about the actual guy Dracula and his melancholic woes and alluring world of darkness and seduction and not the fact that every single character in the book hates him. Every single worker he comes across cusses him out and tells him he’s ugly and his vibes are rancid. Jonathan Harker wants to chop him up with a machete Quincy wants to shoot him so bad Renfield wants to crush his windpipe Van Helsing and Seward and Arthur and Mina and everyone else want him dead by impalement and decapitation. It’s called “Dracula” because every single character wants a piece of that bastard.
So fun fact: At some point in my life I got it into my head I wanted to make a Highly Ambitious Sci-Fi Simulation Murder Mystery Game, where all the characters in it were fully simulated and had their little simulated goals and ANY of them could have done it and it was up to you to piece together the clues they’d naturally leave behind in the wake of their nefarious deeds to decide who actually had the means and opportunity as you slowly realized EVERYONE present had motive.
Obviously, it would be a riff on Murder on the Orient Express, but that’s not important.
But, when I realized that I wanted to have a SINGLE person be the target of all that aggression, I realized in my heart of hearts that person had to be Dracula.
And BOY did the plot of the game write itself out at that point. So many various reasons people could want this bastard dead.
Ultimately, the ambitiousness of the simulation was its undoing: I wasn’t yet in a point in my programmer skill tree where I knew how to properly debug AI, so it ended up unfinished (and for a platform I no longer have access to, alas).
HOWEVER let me leave you with my very favorite bug:
Because I needed lots of reasons for characters to be constantly moving around and not just holing up in their space-train cars, they had various bodily needs, like hunger and thirst and the need to go to the bathroom, you know, normal things.
Imagine my horror and delight when I was running a test game to figure out why Dracula kept Not Getting Murdered only to discover he was *LOCKING HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND PISSING ETERNALLY*.
Turns out I had a bug where you just...wouldn’t stop.
I ALSO had a bug with the locking mechanism and people could let themselves IN but not out, so eventually the entire cast ended up there in the Infinite Piss room, unable to leave, and unwilling to murder because of all the witnesses.
Hell is real and its a buggy simulation game.
Op I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes. Literally have tears streaming down my face.
Y... you're OP.
[image id: Screenshot of tumblr tags.
#new rule
#if your addition to the post is funny enough you own the post now]
razor ads "that's right, we're not like those stuffy old squares who try to control your body. we're not afraid to say it: i'm a woman, and i love shaving my armpits! yeah, we went there - we said the word: armpits. *airhorn noise* *record scratch* uh, yeah, women have hair! wild notion, right, grandpa? we'll get used to it! except don't get too used to it, because it's gonna get shaved. for feminism"